Cafe Night II - Cinco De Mayo!!

Another Cafe Night! Gonna be awesome! Everyone's Invited!!

Vancouver is BEAUTIFUL

Man, today was freakin' AWESOME. [[Summary at bottom]]

First off, Moe woke me up at 7am, 'cause he was coming over to get keys, and as such I practically ended up with like three hrs of sleep... I was gonna sleep another few hours after Moe got here, but yeah, talking ensued, etc etc... as such, I took a shower at 8ish, I had a bowl of cereal, and we left.

So we walked down to Home Hardware, he bought an umbrella (the dinky little one, instead of my pimpcane! haha), as well as got the keys. Then, walked back, made sure they worked, etc etc. So then Moe had the great idea of going out to eat, and I was like, hells yeah! [yes, I had cereal, but I think my avg. caloric intake over the past week was, like, 1500/day... so I ).

We ended up walking down to broadway, and ate at the world-famous Solly's Bagel/Jewish Deli place. I had a Reuben Eggel on Herb (egg+cheese+pastrami+herb bagel), while Moe had tuna sandwich w/ world-famous cinnamon bun (DELICIOUS). Then we were thirsty, so we went to Safeway for some chocolate milk. Heheh. We also ended up buying some groceries.

Yeah, living w/ Moe, I can forsee me spending WAAAAY more money than w/ Tim/Alan. Haha...

So yeah, walked back to my apartment. Was gonna sleep, but didn't really feel like it. So I decided to practice some of the songs I'm thinking of doing for Cafe Night II [[CRAP FORGOT TO INVITE PEOPLE, YOUS ALLS ARE COMING, RIGHT?? Cinqo de Mayo!] But yeah, needs a little work, but, DANG... I hope to impress even the most ardent of critics. Haha...

Then, as should probably be expected by now, my Uncle phoned me around 1:30pm, told me he was like a block away asked if I wanted to go out to eat. HELLS YES I can go for more food! Haha... but yeah, I walked to him and off we went.

First off, we went to Wicked Cafe, somewhere near 7th ave and granville. Apparently the owner/guy went to Switzerland to study coffee, or something. IT SHOWED. Man, super meticulous, and INCREDIBLE coffee. Even if I did have to douse it w/ 500 calories of sugar, heheh...

However, this Cafe didn't really have any FOOD food, so we then went to Seb's Cafe, which is near Broadway and Fraser. Lemme tell you guys, THIS PLACE IS AWESOME. Delicious everything at reasonable price, etc etc... I ended up getting the sweet chili wild salmon (DELICIOUS) while my uncle got mesclun salad. So yeah, very satisfying.

A Korean market/store place was nearby, so my uncle decided to stop by. THAT PLACE IS COOL YOU GUYS. Funky-awesome little store.

As we were driving back to my place, my uncle realized that we were pretty close to Western Front, the internationally renowned art gallery near Main and Broadway (and, like, RIGHT ACROSS FROM KIRSTEN'S PLACE, lol...). Although it's like a Flipbook festival, so nothing really Wow-worthy... ooo, moving pictures... haven't seen THAT before... lol... But yeah, still cool nevertheless.

Throughout all this time, as we parked somewhat far from the places we were going to, I ended up doing a lot of walking in the rain w/ my superawesome umbrella. And, I realized, VANCOUVER IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. Even a neighbourhood notorious for break-ins w/ like bars on the window is BEAUTIFUL, lol. I even found myself loving Vancouver weather! Man, a functional umbrella really makes a difference too, lol...

Anyways, so my uncle drove me back to my apartment. Was thinking about sleeping, but after the caramel late from Wicked Cafe... wasn't gonna happen, heheh. So yeah, I ended up "practicing" again, and yeah, I'm getting pretty freakin' good, esp. in such a short time of practice! But yeah, as per the usual, am rushing quite a bit... I sooo needs me a metronome...

So here I am, 15 minutes of blogging later, it being quarter to 7 already, when I was supposed to be at church, like, 15 minutes ago. Oh well. I got pretty into my guitar/singing. ITS SO AWESOME TO BE ABLE TO ALMOST SOUND REALLY GOOD. Haha...

But yeah, church tonight. Gotta friggin get going now... missing that "class 101" thing... oh well, done it before... yadda yadda... WHY STILL I BLOG?? STOPTIME...

***

So, to summarize:

Early wakeup
Umbrella / Keys cut
Solly's
Safeway
"Practice"
Uncle
Wicked Cafe
Seb's Cafe
Western Front
More "Practice"
Blog
Church

So yeah, full day. Today was definitely one of the best days I've had in quite some time... too bad "study" wasn't on that list up there though, heheh... heh... heh, awww....

Until next time, I guess...

HOLY CRAP, MY 3 DAYS OF HELL ARE OVER.

But really, it wasn't all that bad. Mostly because I stopped caring very much.

Tonight's exam was HARD. Holy crap. It was, like, by FAR the hardest of the 4 I took. I mean, it was kinda expected, what with my lack of focus in the few hours before my exam. But yeah. Kinda sucks. Although, I wasn't the only one who felt that way, so yeah. Hooray for potential scaling, I guess...

Anyways, I still don't know the score to the game. I'm watching now. So far, it's gone all YEAH... WTF?!? AWW COME ON... AWW JEEZ... AWW, THAT'S NOT COOL...

So yeah, not looking great...

Alan just came back... apparently, 3rd period is where it's at. I am cautiously optimistic...

Okay, 3rd period half over... still not... WTF, 4-1 now... WTF, LUONGO PULLED. Dang...

Argh... so Alan DID say 5-1... I was kinda feigning hope that he said "we won", heh...

And now it's 1:15 in the morning, and I've got an interview in a few hours from now... that I haven't prepared for... AT ALL... considering staying up another hour, prepare for the interview, sleep 7 hrs, and just go... but, probably not... sleepy am I...

***

I feel odd. The canucks lost, but MAN, do I feel good. Oh wait, yeah, 4 exams in 3 days, OVER. Right. Heheh...

Until next time, I guess...

[Edit - I did that "open all in tabs" thing to my bookmarked blogs, and two auto-song blogs started playing...

Listening to Nevermind by Nirvana, and Big Girls Don't Cry (by, Fergie?)... DAMN, it's so eerie... they WORK SO WELL TOGETHER... it's trippin' me out man...]

Can almost see the light...

Test in, oh, 7 hours.

If I get cracking, I might be able to pull of a half-decent mark.

I don't think I care much for grade anymore. That kinda sucks for me...

What really sucks though, is that come to think of it, I did WAY too much this semester. You know, what with a job, 6 classes with the same amount of hrs/week as 7 classes, tons of praise team practice, tons of co-op related stuff, etc etc. But what REALLY sucks is that, despite this apparent lack of free time, I continually WASTED every single moment of "free" time that I had.

Although, in my defence, the first few weeks of this semester, I was ROCKIN'. And then crap flung up again, and I got horribly disfigured for a few weeks, and then I focused on Cafe Night... and then it was midterms. By that time, I was, like, CRAP, should've studied more... and then I got my marks back. FRICKIN' OVERACHIEVED LIKE NEVER BEFORE! I mean, after getting those marks, it was, like, why bother trying anymore... I don't deserve all this... and as such, I found ways to saboutage myself.

For example, right now. My horrid 4-exams-in-3-days experience is almost complete, and yet the class which needs the most studying, BY FAR, is Tax, which is my exam tonight... and here I am, ranting away on this blog... My exam's in only 6 hrs... I don't think I can pull a decent mark outta my ass the same way I did in the midterm... you know, where the 3 weeks of semi-hardcore studying actually paid off... yikes...

Okay... now I'm starting to get the fear... AWESOME... stop blog NOW.

[Edit - WTF, THE GAME IS TONIGHT?!?!?! I thought it was on Thursday... crap dammit... stupid exams... oh well, hopefully another streaker runs into the exam, haha... but yeah, GO CANUCKS GO!!!]

BEYOND SCREWED

Yup, I'm beyond screwed... and you know what that means...

I'm FUCKED.

***

I'm about "this" close to doing a "Rhythm is Everywhere!!!" thing during this exam. Then go completely mental when people complain...

I only have time to study 1 of 2 things. I'm studying the one most likely I won't be able to just figure out on the exam (like what I did on the midterm), if that makes sense.

But that still leaves me with a whole whack of marks I won't be able to get on the exam.

It's worth 55% of my grade, and I do believe I'm screwing up mightily in that class. Might end up getting a 75% instead of the 85-90% I could've gotten if I just hunkered down and worked at it.

I AM AN ASS.

Therefore, I am ASS-FUCKED.

...yeah.

***

Edit: Turns out everyone got assraped, heh. Bodes well for the scaling...

Yipes...

It's about 5 hrs 'til my exam. Still haven't studied...

I've been on youtube...

I've gotta watch less of this:



And more of this:



And most importantly, I'VE GOTTA START FREAKING STUDYING!!!

[Edit - yeah, I messed up, was the same vid... whoops... but yeah, FIXED]

Crams, Exams, and [omg] STREAKERS

So, spent the day cramming. And hanging out w/ Reuben, heh. But, studied enough to pull another half-decent mark outta my ass, so no worries.

I was watching the game at 6, but realized quickly that I HAD AN EXAM IN AN HOUR. Not to mention that I was in DLam, and the test was in OSBORNE.

[for those non-ubc'ers, it's about a 15 min walk...]

So yeah, quickly turned it off and supercrammed for the last few minutes.

Good thing about the exam though, they posted the score on the blackboard throughout the exam! SWEEET. It was like, oh man, 0-1, that sucks... WHOA, now it's 1-1, niiiiice... WHOA, WHAT, WE'RE MOVING ON!!! Holy crap, 4-1?! YOU KIDDING ME?!?!!

Of course, this was during exams so it was more like... "..." ...yeah. Heheh.

But at around 9 o'clock, a freaking STREAKER ran into the exam room! He was all, "YEAH, CANUCKS WON!! We're going STREAKING!!! C'MON, LETS GO!! ...no? THAT'S ALRIGHT!!! GO CANUCKS GO!!!"

lol, I've never seen that before, streaker during exams... and, due to some strategically-placed students blocking the view, I hopefully never will... HAHA...

Anyways, I'm gonna finish my cbc-archived video of the game, then call it a night.

I still gots me an exam tomorrow night... crud... but yeah, GO FREAKIN' CANUCKS GO!!!

[Edit: HOLYCRAP, just finished watching the game, that was freakin' INCREDIBLE!!! I mean, DANG, I already knew the score, and I was still rivited! NIIIICE!!!

...was it worth staying up 'til 2am, when I've only had 4.5 hrs of sleep the night before, and have an exam tomorrow? Only time will tell... man, not much time left either... but no, sleep now. YEAH CANUCKS!!!]

1 Down, 4 To Go...

Exam was a bust. Forgot legions of information. Hopefully pulled off a 70-ish, but I'm not holding my breath.

Exam later tonight, Commercial Law, 7-10... or, 7-9:30? I don't know. But yeah, haven't studied, will start now.

Mom getting me Timmy Hos for lunch, she says. Okay.

Oh, phoned in exam, co-op office, turns out I have interview tomorrow. NOPE, gots me exams. Earliest is Thursday. I don't think they're very pleased. I might not have a co-op job in the summer... crap dammit...

...oh hey, as it turns out, Henri doesn't have a job either, apparently. This sucks man, he's crazy good, and cool guy etc... tough competition...

Anyways, enough of this, studytime is now!

[Edit: As it turns out, I don't HAVE to have a job until the last week of May (or 13 weeks, 455 hrs total), so yeah, I have time... phew... sigh... onomatopoeia...]

Plans of (In)Action

Got a ride back to apartment @ 6:30ish, ended up sleeping once I got to my place. Woke up around noon-ish, guitar, videogames, etc, HOLY CRAP IT'S ALMOST 9PM!!!

I've got an exam in, oh, less than 12 hours. I haven't studied for it yet.
I've got an exam tomorrow night. I also haven't studied for it yet.
I've got exams tuesday and wednesday night. As you might have guessed, I have yet to study for these exams also.

As stated above, I played 6 hrs of Heroes V instead of doing my patented supercram technique. My mark as aleady dropped 4 letter grades, I can just feel it...

Next few days are gonna be exiting... for all the wrong reasons...

I think I'm sabotaging myself. I don't feel I deserve straight A's, even though it was more than achievable this semester. I may have some messed up reasons as to why I don't try harder, but no excuse.

Today I didn't have internet for the longest time. I felt trapped! So, I ended up playing Heroes. And couldn't get off... stupid final few maps of the sylvain campaign...

Anyways, enough of this. Here's the plan:

Tonight: SUPERCRAM until, oh, 11 or 12.
Tomorrow: Wake up at 6, get to school, CRAM LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW, then take exam at 8:30. Then, SUPERCRAM LIKE MAD for Law, eat sometime inbetween, take exam at 7pm. Go home, eat, sleep.

Tuesday: Wake up early-ish (depending on tiredness in the morning), get to school by at least 10, SUPERCRAM LIKE MAD, take exam at 7pm.

Wednesday: See tuesday.

And try not to fail.

You know what pisses everyone off? This is what I did last time, and I still ended up w/ like, 90%, 80%, 75-ish%, etc... so, no motivation to improve on technique. Not cool...

Three days of hell, one week of relaxation. Yeah.

Stop blog now.

11:30...

Alright, so yeah... past 11. Although, to excuse... it is the weekend... heheh...

But no. No excuse.

I think I have an unhealthy attraction to a girl I only converse with online.

In other news, I've stopped trying to think that there's more than there really is...

...no, that's too vague. Probably be misinterpreted, esp. with the preceedings... So how's this:

I stopped trying to pretend I have friends when in actuality I only have acquaintances.

[insert segue...]

Ecclesiastes is my favourite book of the bible. Very comforting. To me, at least. Heheh...

Also, it's rather emo, lol... "Meaningless! Meaningless!" hah...

[I hope that's not being disrespectful...]

Oh, and yeah, that's the book with the "to everything there is a season" quotes that the birds have made so popular... turn turn turn...

Anyways, that's enough blog for me. I sleep now.

And then, SUPERCRAMAFRAGILELISTICEXPI... yeah, nevermind... studytime is the phrase...

Resolution

Doesn't have to be New Year's to have a resolution.

No more computer past 11pm.

It's 10:49pm right now.

Let's see how this'll work...

[Edit - Okay, so it's 11:03. So sue me, I was saying happy birthday on msn... gah, excuses already, heh...]

Chorus To My Song, Again...

Alright, so here it is again... AWESOME song... but you gotta sign up to imeem... free, no reason not to... yadda yadda...

http://profile.imeem.com/KiotSI/music/jO4WmfEe/jaa_chorus_to_my_song/

Edit: Stupid Richmond home computer doesn't have flash installed. That could be why I'm not seeing it... whoops...

If that be the case, here it is once more...

Decisions, Decisions...

Should I go home today?

Pros:
--> Ugly Betty / Smallville watching at 5pm, download other & watch in morning.
--> Watch Hockey Game on an actual Television, w/ Shaylene
--> Delicious Home Cooking (probably...)
--> ...DO MY FRIGGIN' TAXES! CRAP!! All my stuff's at home...
--> Get old notes from prev classes, jogs memory, etc...

Cons:
--> Lack of Studying (which I have yet to start...)
--> Lack of proper sleeping arrangements
--> Lack of motivation to do anything besides lounge around
--> Possibility of missing tomorrow's review session...
--> It's not like I CAN'T watch the game from UBC, etc etc...
--> CRAPPY ENVIRONMENT

So yeah, there you have it. I have, oh, another hour or so to figure out what to do today. So far, I've slept in, failed to eat an adequate meal (cereal bar doesn't count), went to a 2hr law review session, and spent the past, oh, half an hour doing random internet garbage. Including requesting facebook to add my old highschool to their networks. Haha... redundant, as it's already a group... so w/e...

Clearly, I'm not getting anything done at school. I'm gonna head to my apartment, figure stuff out from there.

Oh, and if you haven't heard it already, LISTEN TO "Chorus to My Song". It's friggin' HILARIOUSLY AWESOME!

Chorus To My Song

Thought I'd one-up Mai here, haha...



If you ever need to know how to structure a pop song, this is it... haha...

Chorus To My Song is by Ja'a, friends of Joey! Pretty cool, I must say. Heheh. Connections...

Nice Day

Today was remarkably productive.

Woke up a little past 7am, got to school around 8ish, and surprisingly enough, I actually hunkered down and finished my project! WOW!

...okay, it took a couple hours to really get going, but once I got going, finished within an hour! Yeah... why I didn't do this, say, three weeks ago, I'm not sure... something holding me back, I guess. Heh.

Also, handing it in to the TA, and talking with the guy for a bit... BIG ego boost. Basically told me that I was far beyond the other students, and that the course was based on creating a mental framework, and that it took the other students 6-7 times longer for them to understand it as I had, and that my talents are wasted in business (of which I agreed with him, heh...).

He also said that if it weren't for this lateness, I had the possibility of getting 100% in that class. Told me I was that good. ....WOW. Haha. But he then said that I'd probably end up with 50% for the paper... fully deserve that, but, it got me thinking... 50% of 30% is still 15%... and assuming that I DID have 100% going in, that's like, still an overall grade of 85%... plus, he said he's going to scale the grade up b/c he marked the reports pretty hard... soo... yeah. To pull this crap, and still have the possibility of coming away with an A+?? That's not fair...

...okay, I'll probably end up with like an A- or something, but still... I think I'm kind of a bad person... ....

Again, as Charissa suggested, why don't I just try hard, and get really good grade, and feel like I actually deserved these good grades?? You see, I'm asking this question more and more lately... and yet, I put less and less effort into school. I don't know if business is right for me... ...but, I'll see how this co-op thing turns out.

Speaking of co-op, went to another interview today. Tech Cominco. Went to their downtown office (DANG it's sooo snazzy!), and took the interview. The job sounds fairly interesting, doing all this accounting stuff (apparently a big staff is 25, which is how many they have, haha...), so yeah, I'd be helping out projects and stuff. If I get it. Then again, though, I've kinda been slacking on interviews, and I barely researched the company this time. I think he kinda caught me on it. Whoops. But yeah, I seemed personable. That's all I really want to come across. And hopefully I won't have to go to, say, Toronto/Montreal/Sechelt to get a job. That'd kinda suck... summer in Vancouver, esp. living at Kits... soo nice...

Speaking of Kits, when I got back to my place, the guys were just about to go to the beach, so I quickly changed and came with. Heheh, being 5 mins away from Kits beach ROCKS. Hahaha...

Anyways, here I am, blogging away, potatoes in the oven, relaxing it up before I work my final shift at Safeway. It's gonna be weird not working there anymore, although as I've only been working one shift a week the past few weeks, not really much of a change...

So yeah. Dinnertime is now upon us. Uh, I mean me. Heheh.

Smosh... smoshed potatoes... LOL.

Instead of Hamburgers

Oh my goodness, you guys... THIS IS HILARIOUS!

In retrospect, the first 15 seconds or so are rather jarring, so anticipate the "wtf" factor...

...HAHAHA, it doesn't even make sense! ...Penguins?!? LOL...

***

Edit: I got this "Rainforest Song" from Jill Goldin's site. She's going to be on a song for the upcoming CivIV expansion (and no, she is not still 4 years old!). But yeah, listening to her other stuff... GOOOOD. Even if it's not really within my usual musical preferences. Heh. Perhaps I'm just a sucker for a pretty girl w/ a great set of pipes.

...that sounds dirtier than I expected. Hah, oops...

Kinda Proves the Point

7:27

So here I am, it's 7:27pm, project not done, watching the game on streaming cbc.

Ohlund scored, awe...GAHH STUPID DALLAS! Just scored...

I'm in the sub right now, just bought myself some pizza, and I've gotta say, mighty delicious... WAY better than the crap I had last time I bought pizza there... pie r 2...

Also, because I'm streaming the game (and thus, has that internet lag), and because I am in such close proximity to either the Galley or the Pit Pub (can't tell which), when Vancouver scored, I was able to hear the ruckus a good

Hmm... unruliness... that could only mean... wait for it... ...

...LINDEN SCORES!!! VANCOUVER IS AHEAD AGAIN, 2-1! Awesomeness!

Hahaha, way to ruin the excitement...

WHOA, WTF, Dallas goal?! ...

...WHOA WAY TO GO MITCHELL!! But jeez, that was right on the line... my goodness...

So friggin' intense in the past 5 minutes! It kinda ruined my groggy emo post I had all lined up... you know the kind, oh I didn't do my work again, oh boo who me, yadda yadda...

But now, alls I can say is... GO CANUCKS GO!! Only a few minutes to go...

...one minute left...

I just heard some ruckusness... uh oh, doesn't sound good... crap missed the empty net... oh man oh man oh man... GREAT SAVE LUONGO!!! Holy crap... INTENSE... oh man, more unruliness I'm hearing... oh man oh man... stupid lag... 22 seconds left... C'MON... AWWW, Daniel just missed the empty net, icing... more unruliness... OHH MAN, WHAT'S GOING ON... 5... 4... 1... YEAH GO CANUCKS GO!! SWEPT THE DALLAS GAMES!!! Jeez that's soo awesome... MAN, that was awesome!

Holy crap you guys, that was amazing... ... but, now, what to do? Finish up my project, print it out, hand it in, and go home? Or... watch Detriot kick Calgary's ass? Plus, Bertuzzi in as a wing or not tonight? I don't know... perhaps I'll go check...

Enough blog...

Lacking the FEAR

It's exam time. And yet, I'm still not in crazy cramming mode.

As it's been mentioned, fear is a great motivator, esp. in academics. Fear of failing, fear of not getting a good mark, etc...

But no. I just don't really care about all that anymore, I guess. Especially since I'm overachieving soooo much this semester. I mean, even if I put a minimal effort into some of my classes (which I'm sad to say, I haven't...), I'd have easily, EASILY gotten an A average. But I don't feel like I deserve that grade, and as such, I slack.

I am the Slack King.



[p.s., I've been playing Pokemon recently. Hanging out at BCIT, memories of spending hours playing that on GBA, so relaxing...]

Insight, or lack thereof...

Staying in Richmond not only creates my depression, but increases it exponentially every moment I stay here.

And still, it's not enough to keep me away from watching the Canucks w/ Shaylene. I miss that.

I don't think I can go back anymore. Definitely not overnight. ESPECIALLY not with "family" over.

I apologize if I've upset anybody during this time. I just realized how, staying at my place in Kits, everything is just nicer. I mean, yesterday I went to the beach and threw the disc around with the guys. How awesome is that?? And then I leave, to watch the canucks, and get sucked back into the "spiralling maelstrom" that is my dysfunctional family. I don't know how my sisters cope so well. I don't even know if they really do.

Perhaps they're not as afraid of turning out like my father as I am. It's like staring into some kinda whacked-out funhouse mirror...

Also, my theory of Canucks win = bliss and Canucks loss = depression no longer holds any water. I mean, I was wondering if that was the cause of my weekend depression, the Canucks being shut out on friday. But nope. The canucks won a hard-fought game sunday. And I go and fill my blog with crap.

I don't have any sympathy for users. They can all die. And no, that's not as random as it might sound.

The worst part about it is I don't have the motivation or willpower to lift myself above all of this crap. I mean, I have the mental toughness to withstand anything if I put my mind to it. But that only happens when I have a reason to do so.

No, that's not even true. I'm only strong if someone cares enough to push me to do something worthwhile. Someone outside of family.

I don't know why I'm still here. I shouldn't be. I think I still have the idiotic mindset of saving a couple bucks by printing out my project at home. But due to my own idiocy, it's not even finished. Not even CLOSE to being finished.

So screw this, I'm going home.

...HOME. Is it too emo to say that I don't even know where that is anymore??

And again, I apologize if I've upset anybody during this time. Although, I think for most, it's more shock than upset. I don't think anyone cares enough for it to be upsetting... but I've been wrong before. So just in case, sorry guys.

And I'm out of here.

[Edit: I seem to trap myself in my own little depressive world at times. Perhaps I enjoy all this self-deprecation. Or maybe I find feeling sorry for myself is better than feeling nothing at all.

...imagine all this crap going though my head, without having an outlet such as this blog, or playing guitar, or whatever. That's what it was like 4 years ago. The outlet was her. That wasn't fair. Before that, it was video games. I guess, since I practically quit playing videogames for so long, my depression has kept building up. ...yadda yadda.

This is stupid. It's not even close to as bad as it was in highschool. But now, I guess, instead of retreating back to my little hovel, I stare it right in the face. And after seeing it, I turn around and go into a different little hovel. One where I put myself on display for everyone to gawk at. Heheh. Thanks, blogspot.

...my sandwich is ready. No more blogging.]

Insight

I think I might be depressed.

No duh!

I think I might also be starting to really lose my marbles...

Nope, found them!

o_O

Insight

When I'm on a roll, I'm ON A ROLL.

I've got 3 dates over 4 days with 5 different women.

...yeah. WRAP THAT ONE AROUND YOUR HEAD.

...

[Edit: YES, this was sarcasm... jeez...]

Insight

Why do people like tattoos?

I see tattoos as a giant billboard in the middle of a pristine valley. It doesn't matter how beautiful the billboard is, it still ruins the view.

Insight

I try to see things other people don't care enough to look for.

I get jealous because I'm afraid others will find out the brilliance I've discovered for myself.

I think that kinda makes me a bad person...

[Edit: Read: "I get jealous because I'm afraid others will figure out the brilliance of which I have discovered for myself, and try to take it away from me." Hope that clears it up a little...]

Church, or lack thereof...

I don't feel integrated at church.

I'm contemplating going elsewhere for a while.

That is all.

Conundrum [s]

I have an interview tomorrow.

Do I shave my playoff beard?!?!

Hahaha...

***

Edit:

Yeah, staying up an extra hour or so to talk online. It's, like, last summer again... except, instead of having 8-10 hr workdays, I have a huge pile of non-homework-completing guilt. Heh...

I don't say this often enough: Andrew is the most awesome person ever to exist in the history of history. He truly is great. We should all aspire to be a little more like Andrew. Etcetra.

WOW

What a game...

Too bad I was freaking WORKING TONIGHT!!! Stupid work...

Although, as a plus, I was able to listen to most of the game (even if I did miss most of the goals), all the while doing the least amount of work possible. Heh. I do kinda feel bad that I didn't fill the banana tree... I completely forgot about that, whoops...

But no matter. CANUCKS ARE FRIGGIN' AWESOME!!!

And that's the trubthbhththbhth...

Just barely...

I just figured out that my power cord barely, JUST barely reaches the area where I'm able to get steady internet.

In the immortal words of Adam Sandler, information that could've been brought to my attention YESTERDAY! Or, I guess, a few weeks ago more likely...

And yeah that's not the exact quote, so sue me...

***

I realized that being attracted to someone w/o actually falling for them is COMPLETELY different that what I'm used to. Here's one not-really-indicative example:

With enamour: I say something weird, and get all freaked out, and get super paranoid that she thinks I'm creepy-weird, but then start to think that she might've, could've thought that it was kinda sweet, and kinda think it's not so creepy-weird, and start to think that it really wasn't weird at all, and that she could possible like me even more because of this odd statement! [deranged thinking, I know...]

Without enamour: I say something weird, and assume that she thinks it's weird. And perhaps somewhat creepy, I don't know. I don't really know her that well yet. But she doesn't really know me yet either, so perhaps she's willing to overlook the weirdness, and chalk it up nervousness or whatever.

...remember, this was a not-really-indicative example, lol. Sounds exactly the same on paper, i.e. say something weird = possibly endearing, but in my head, completely different animal!

Perhaps I'm just projecting how I see the world upon everything else. Every-ONE else. Why I make this error I do not why... and I could EASILY write like, five hundred words on possibly why alone, given the state I'm in now...

Yes, it's past 2am. Yes, I've got a presentation in 8 hrs. Yes, I've got an assignment due at 4pm, that was technically due over a week ago.

And yes, that's not gonna stop me from procrastinating...

***

...it will, however, stop me from blogging.

See, this is why I kinda wouldn't mind a forceable "fast" from blogging. I mean, I could easily do it if I set my mind on it...

I mean, I gave up pork rather easily, imo. Still the best-tasting meat by far, and yet I still avoid it quite easily.

And now I don't feel like blogging anymore.

So I stop.

Awakening

Best song on that album, best Switchfoot song since the Beautiful Letdown album, imo.

Plus, the video is kinda awesome! And also has that lohan-lookalike girl from Ugly Betty, heheh...


...THE AWAKENING!!!

Easter

It's been an odd Easter weekend.

I quit my job today. Well, technically yesterday, but seeing as I haven't slept...

Overstuffed.

Drowning in 8 hrs worth of heroes. I went through 2 maps. Heh.

Just as I was about to go to bed, I realized that a co-op job application was due at noon. So no sleep for me. Hopefully I don't crap up this cover letter too...

I kinda wanna take a hiatus from blogging. See if I'm even able to do it.

I don't like going back to Richmond. And yet, here I am, once again.

***

The funny thing about all this is I'm actually feeling not too shabby, but that's so not what's coming across on the blog.

So let's see how long this'll last...

Edit, 11am - Does this count, on the same day?? Whatever... I don't think I'm gonna sleep 'til tonight. Unfortunately, I seem to lack the proper mental function to finish my co-op application. The more I think about it, the more I won't get an interview for this place, even if I do end up doing my application. Stupid everything. But mostly stupid

I want my own place. A place where I can shout/scream/sing at the top of my lungs. I miss that. New house, sound travels. Apartment, is an apartment. No way to be loud unless nobody's home, and once they come back, it's quite the startle. Heheh, I'm starting my no-sleep style of ranting. Stop time.

~~~

Hooray for low-key independent music:

Silian Rail

Found a youtube vid of them covering Come On Eileen (the Save Ferris version), checked out their myspace, and yeah, they're GOOOOOOD.

...okay, well, not really, but I kinda like 'em. Heh. I think I enjoy that amateur-ish sound. I like hearing potential, I guess. I think that's why I like Vroom.

~~~

There are a LOT of bad acoustic covers on youtube. However, I find that it doesn't matter how horrible you sing/play, as long as there's PASSION. If you see someone really into the song, pouring their heart & soul etc, it doesn't matter how bad they play, it's AWESOME.

~~~

HAHAHAHAHA, oh man, I didn't know that was Hellogoodbye! WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?!?!?! lol... parodies...

And other songs sounds like nintendo, der har har..

~~~

And now it's 1pm... still no sleep. But strangely euphoric. Hooray for the internets!

Go Away

I felt detached. I don't mind, I just go away.

I felt useless. I don't mind, I just go away.

I felt ostracized. I don't mind, I just go away.

Pissed off how others were ostracized though. So cliquey. Not cool.

***

i AM unloved



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Mish-Mash

So today I decided to bus back to Richmond, watch the Canucks game tonight. Didn't clinch, bah... but that's besides the point. The point is... well, I'll start over.

So I boarded the 480, listened to my mp3 player, put my head down in kind of a half-sleep thing, when I notice that this girl sits next to me. She was, like, crazy familiar... and then I remember where I saw her, she was sitting in front of us during the Engineering video thingy in the Norm theatre. So yeah, I kind of remembered her, and I think she kinda remembered me... so, it was kind of that I-sorta-recognize-you-but-I-don't-really-know-for-sure-so-I-won't-say-anything awkwardness. But, you know, I kinda at least wanted to say hi, or something... so, what to do...

At first, I was just listening to my mp3 player. Oddly enough, it was looping "23", which ironically had the following lyrics:

"You'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time / what are you hoping for?"

So, after hearing these lines, oh, 5-6 times, I had enough and put away my mp3 player. You know, realizing that to even have a chance of something remotely similar to a conversation, I should probably be able to hear what she'd potentially be saying to me...

So I turned off my mp3 player. I think she noticed. Perhaps thought it was a little weird. At least, that's what went through my head. So after about 5 mins of just sitting there, contemplating how to say hi, with the words "you'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time" resonating in my head... I did nothing. Yay me.

I didn't want to look like a complete weirdo, just sitting there after turning off my mp3 player... so I decided to phone people. You know, ask them if they're doing anything on the weekend and whatever. Which is what I was going to do once I got to my place, but since I felt kinda akward and whatnot, I phoned people.

After what felt like a long time (it was about from arbutus to the bridge, on the 480), I figured I phoned enough people. But now I was just sitting there, staring out the window and what not. Super akward, as it was kind of in that past-the-point-of-saying-hi stage, you know?

So I just sat there like a dufus until I got to Richmond centre. And now I'm paranoid that she labelled me a weirdo or something. But no matter, chances are I'll never see her again. Oh well.

...

Yeah, I guess that was just a long-winded way of trying to say that I find it hard to start a conversation w/ people I don't really know. How awesome.

Oh, and Reuben, do you know this female engineer? The best way I can describe her is "tiny white girl". I know it sounds a little, you know, but whatever. It's 3:30am, gimme a break...

***

Terra Naomi is hella annoying. I mean, she's an AMAZING songwriter, but... man, her singing is just... GAH! Too much vibrato, too much warble. It detracts from the song, imo. Take these two vids for example, one of Terra Naomi's "Close To Your Head", and one of melbow5 doing a cover. The cover is FRICKIN' AWESOME, but the original... not so much.

Terra Naomi - Close To Your Head


melbow5 - Close To Your Head


Just felt like mentioning this...

***

WOW YOU GUYS. I thought I found the most amazing thing on youtube:



...but then I found THIS:



HE'S ONLY FRIGGIN' 11 YEARS OLD!!! ELEVEN!!! That's, just... my goodness...

***

While we're on awesome acoustic guitar versions of classic 80's rock songs, check this out:



If you're gonna skip ahead, DON'T MISS 1:25. Friggin' incredible...

Oh, and also, this video (along with poopfemur's videos) makes me wanna get a thumbpick. They look super awesome.

***

Awww, why not... more acoustic guitar awesomeness!



***

And now... time for some ukulele awesomeness!



***

I think I might have overdid it a little w/ the 5 million youtube vids here, heheh... sorry guys!

***

Gotta stop skipping classes. But, you know, it's kinda mostly a little too late for that, haha... LAST WEEK OF CLASSES!!! WOOO!!!

But yeah, skipping class to play chess w/ the guys, super awesome fun time yay. Heheh.

***

I haven't written this long a post in what feels like forever. I dont' know why.

...oh yeah, I remember now. It's 4:15 in the morning. Heheh... heh...

Heroes

I need to play more videogames. Or, rather, more video GAME. Heroes V to be exact.

WHY, do you ask?? Because there's going to be ANOTHER expansion, which looks AMAZING, and not only have I not played the 1st expansion [which looks ridiculously awesome as well], I have yet to even complete the campaigns on the original game! Goodness...

Therefore, these are my game-playing goals:

1) Finish original campaigns before finals (shouldn't take that much time...)

2) Purchase Hammers of Fate in May, finish this by the end of the summer

3) Purchase Tribes of the East in Fall, finish this by ...??

***

Of course, I say this now, but who knows if I'll actually end up doing this. I kinda hope that something better than Heroes comes along.

[Read: "someone"]

But at the moment, GOT THE HEROES FEVER ON AGAIN! WOOO!!

Until next time, I guess...

I feel unloved.

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Haven't...

Haven't slept yet...

Haven't finished any homework yet...

Haven't found my focus yet...

Haven't turned myself around quite yet...

One thing I HAVE found, however, is that the internets is of the DEVIL. Stealing my time and focus from me. Stupid Al Gore...

Read My Other Post

I'm screwed. I didn't feel like doing my assignment, and now it's nearly 7am.

Now my assured 90% is looking more like an assured 80%. Well that's just awesome.

Funny thing is, it's actually a class in which I actually FEEL like I deserve an A+. Perhaps my overdeveloped sense of fairness reaches out to my average and not individual grades, heh...

Read my other, more lengthy yet more personal, post.

Whoops

I went to go eat something at around 11. Then, I told myself, I would go and start my project. That's due tomorrow. That's worth 30% of my grade. That I haven't started.

Over four hours later... I'm back on the comp. Whoops.

I don't think I take this schooling thing very seriously.

On that note, as it turns out, my last cover letter started out like this:

Dear Ms. Lady-person

[yadda yadda yadda]

Thank you Mr. Stephenson for...


...YEAH. I didn't proofread my cover letter before I sent it. LOL, oh well. I guess I don't take this co-op stuff very seriously either.

My priorities are definitely out of whack.

Also on that note, it's like superlate, I've got a project due in which I haven't started, and here I am blogging. Why I no start early-ier...

...heheh, tv.

First, it was mythbusters at 11. Then it was southpark at midnight (MAN, I finally saw the scientology episode! BRILLIANT!). Then the simpsons, with the "april foo-BOOOOM!!!", you know, when Bart shakes the beer can and Homer goes into a coma... soo awesomely nostalgic. And then I got sucked into a Tom Green movie (by this time, I was kinda out of it... I remember saying out loud "buwahaha! He just got smack in the face with a tennis ball! That's so awesome!" ...yeah. But he was all good-hearted screwup, and was good w/ the kids, and yeah heartwarming stuff. And then it was friggin RUSSELL PETERS! On TELEVISION! I had to at least watch some of that... so yeah, and now here I am, 3:30am, haven't even begun to do my project... haha, stupid television...

But I kinda needed the relaxations...

...haha, what am I talking about, I slept at 5am last night bumming around on the internet (I guess I couldn't really go to sleep after the talking, thoughts in my head are all fiddle faddle foo), and I woke up at like 12:30, and I went out w/ my uncle to eat brunch at Pastis on 4th (man, smoked salmon and goat cheese crepe... DELICIOUS!), and then went to silvercity in richmond hoping to catch Zodiac, but it's not freaking playing anymore which is ridiculously stupid as it's only been out for like less than a month! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?! But yeah, ended up watching 300, on friggin IMAX! That was incredible... the movie was SWWWEEEEEEEEET!! I haven't seen an action movie like that in forever...

...

Uhh... I typed too much...

I think I have a fear of forgetting my memories. Which is why, once I started to blog, I REALLY started to blog, writing down junk so that some day I can go back and read it all and remember things I've forgotten.

I guess that's why I destroyed that other one. Some things are meant to be forgotten.

Maybe that's why Flowers for Algernon was so awesome. Or, at least, part reason why. Although it could've done without the sleazy filth. Kinda pissed me off that he was all, I love this girl, but I'll just go and sleep with the other and feel nothing...

CRAP, that was a spoiler, heh... but yeah, short story much better I presume. I haven't read that since gr. 9...

You know what's also from grade 9? POKEMON. Summer after grade 9, it was pokemon cards. Now, every song from summer '99 reminds me of pokemon cards, lol. Actually, more specifically, of Gibsons/Sechelt, sitting in the car, hoping that z95 was able to reach their...

Holy crap now I really wanna work in Sechelt... gotta apply to that... but NO, must stay in vancouver! Really really want to stay! But... perhaps last ditch effort working in Sechelt? Man... that really would be rather awesome...

Argh, I kinda messed my train of thought... was gonna mention how listening to the z95 music survey whatever thingy had a bunch of songs from that time. I don't remember what they were... but yeah, the main songs I remember off the top of my head is Christina Aguilera's Genie in a Bottle, and Wallflowers The Only Difference...

Dang I gotta cover those songs...

Man, what happened to my "more praise" thingy...

Haha, that title was funny because it was an allusion to emo music... wait, allusion? Is that right? Gah...

Why I write odd? Me lose brain, uh oh... hahahaha... why I laugh...?

I laugh b/c that was from the simpsons episode I watched! FRIGGIN CLASSIC! And the funny thing is, it was a friggin' clip episode, with like minimal new material, but the new material was friggin' brilliant in its own right! Aw man, that reminds me of the perfect example of this...

OooOOoooOOooooooo...

OoooOOOOoooooOOuuuhhhhhghghghghgh...

Haha, go simpsons musical!

Time for youtube...

No, time for stopping of blog...

No, time for FRIGGIN HOMEWORKINGS

I blog too much. Perhaps I'm lonely, and perhaps I feel like I'm tricking myself into believing that I'm talking to someone, and perhaps the fact that someone WILL eventually read this kinda justifies this feeling.

And perhaps the fact that I'm overachieving academically is making me not want to do my project in the hopes that I will get a final grade that I actually deserve. Like last semester. I crapped up horribly last semester, due to obvious (and not so obvious) reasons, and still ended up with "decent" marks. Sure, I did get kinda upset at my choking, maybe, but yeah I finally had a semester where I got the grade I deserved. Average. Average...

See, I strive to be average. Hence the blogging and no working. I've never wanted to be anything more than average, the average joe somebody. Perhaps it's more of a wanting to fit in w/ the rest of the crowd thing. That actually makes a whole whack of sense. Me = average, means me = more accessible to more people, perhaps?

I am suddenly reminded of a memory of when I was, like, 3. All my cousins (which were, like, 3-5 yrs older than me at that time) were tossing a balloon into the air, which then came down again, then they all tried to hit it up again, and then it came down, everyone went to hit it up, down, up down etc etc. But me being much younger, and thusly much shorter, I was never able to hit the balloon myself. Man, I felt so left out... and the funny thing is, I actually have a picture of me crying in the middle of my cousins, all trying to hit a balloon.

Wait a sec... shorter...? ...IS THIS WHY I STILL GET ALL UPSET INSIDE WHEN PEOPLE KNOCK ME ON MY HEIGHT?!?!

Wow, this blogging thing is like a one-man freudian psych session, hahaha...

...

Right after I wrote that, I went off and searched the canucks forums. I promptly realized my procrastination and closed the window.

Perhaps I should do the same right here.

But yeah, cool insights tonight. Although I feel like I've learned them before, perhaps while sitting alone thinking in my bed as I always seem to do too much of before I sleep. But yeah, point is, now it's written down. For posterity.

Yeah... gah, I need a girlfriend...

A Little Less Emo, A Little More Praise

I should stop listening/covering emo-ish songs. They're just depressing, on like some deep psychological level.

Today, it was all praise music. I think that was the first time I actually sang in church in, like... FOREVER.

Speaking of forever, after spending about 3 hrs playing a whole bunch of praise music in my empty apartment, I finally realized I might actually sound decent enough to put on youtube, and did a cover of Forever. Although, I don't know if it's technically called a cover, lol... but yeah, anyways, the fact that I was playing 3 hrs practically nonstop of music kinda hindered the quality a bit. And thus no youtube. But man, I'm so gonna be doing that every week now. So ridiculously awesome.

So yeah, after that, it was, like almost 8... so, to work I went...

Work was good, then it sucked, then it was just plain meh. I'm gonna quit soon enough... I mean, assuming I'm not fired in the meantime... heheh...

I laugh, but I'm kinda worried I'll have to borrow money for May. But no matter, I would've still had to borrow for the completely idiotic $600 co-op fee. Stupid co-op, haha...

Anyways, it's like, kinda late. I hesitate to write this down, as I'm assuming she'll eventually read this blog, but talking to girl online, very cool. Hopefully, classified as potential, yes...?

You know what, screw this potential crap. It's just another excuse to be unmotivated. I find her attractive. I'm going to ask her out.

...eventually.

Until next time, I guess...