Fun times tonight, RDRR...

Was a party at Joey's tonight, that was fun...DDR, karaoke, Burnout3, food, cute little kids...but especially the ddr and karaoke; that was awesome...

Well, I've gotta say one thing: I'm really not enjoying being girlfriendless, but not in the actually having a girlfriend kinda way...let me explain...[edit: or on second thought, don't bother...not terribly interesting...no really, just stop reading this and click on a link or something...]

With a gf, there is focus on one woman, and there is no more need for a constant search for others, 'cause one's already been found...when girlfriendless, there is usually a lack of focus, finding potentiality with nearly every girl you either a) Talk to, or b) Come into contact with, be it a brief brush when sitting next to or what have you...[well, at least for me, and only when there is no singular high-potential candidate, but this is irrelevant to my point]

Tonight at the party, my unfocusedness condition combined with both a & b, thus making me feel attracted to someone I would usually not have considered. It first started when I was playing Burnout3 (while karaoke-ing, haha), when she decided to play as well...I thought nothing of it, but then we started talking and what not, and that planted the seed of possibility in my head. Then, shortly afterwards, we were singing karaoke next to each other, and I accidentily brushed her knee...well, considering that I was feeling kinda attracted to her at the time, I decided to hold my leg there to see what happened...although she never moved away, it didn't particularly seem that she even noticed very much, so these results remained inconclusive...but considering that I can't imagine her ever really seeing me that way, I'm gonna assume that she doesn't.

Looking back, I doubt that I was actually really attracted to her, which is good 'cause it goes alongside the extremely narrow chance that she could actually be attracted to me...I blame my lack of focus for my feelings of attraction...

Then again, this isn't the first time I was attracted to her...it was a while back, don't remember quite when...but anyways, the backstory is that I never really found this girl terribly attractive, mainly because I found it difficult to carry on a conversation with her. But one day, while being in a kind of unfocusy situation, I thought to myself, "hmmm, what about Nicole? Could there possibly be any chance of us going out? Well, lets think this through. Do I find her physically attractive? Not initially, but yeah I guess so. Do I like her personality? Yeah, she seems nice enough I guess. Would being married to her cause any problems? No...in fact, being married would mean that I'd marry into her family; wow, with the loving parents, and the cool sibling situation, and the home, and the financial wellbeing, and the religiousness...daaang, that family is awesome. Wow, Nicole is friggin' awesome! Why didn't I see this before?! I think I'm actually falling for her...no, I've already fallen! Dang, she's freakin' beautiful!" Needless to say, I realized within a few days that this attraction was only really based on marrying into what I consider to be the [near]perfect family, and not on Nicole specifically. That's not a good basis for liking someone, not at all...

Oh, and as a side note, I always found women like Julia Roberts and Sarah Jessica Parker to be kind of on the homely side...that is, until I became attracted to Nicole, 'cause she looks just like them. Being attracted to someone who looks like that made me realize that I should give these girls a chance. Not that I find them super-attractive or anything, or even fairly attractive...more of just pushing them above the ugly line...but now I'm rambling...

Bottom line, being unfocused SUCKS

[Hmmm, I hope the past few postings don't make me sound desperate, with the finding myself being attracted to every girl I meet and what not...but oh well, it don't matter, I'm only worth $0.47 $0.60 anyways, haha...]

Until next time, I guess...

--> As told through the mind of an introverted extrovert.

[p.s. - Which reminds me, I found out recently that I wasn't the first guy to think up the term "Introverted Extrovert"...must blog about it when there's nothing else to type...]