Ineffective...

Today can be summed up in one word: "Ineffective"

I spent most of my day either watching tv or doing my math assignment...my math assignment that's worth <2% of my total mark...instead, I should've been studying for my english and philosophy midterms (but especially english), since they're both 20% or more...kinda stupid, but I think I fell into the easiness of doing number crunching instead of actually thinking with wordings and such...and then the math assignment got frustrating, making me wanna do it even more, because I knew I could do it if I applied myself...and I guess that's the problem, I applied my all into math and nothing else...

And I complain about it now instead of studying because I'm really tired...lack of sleep does not mix well with wording study...however, lack of sleep is terribly conducive to many ramblings, lol...

But as ineffective as this may be, I am feeling calmed down...well, I actually kinda feel detached from everything right now (as with for most of the day), but I guess that could be called being calm...

p.s. - It's really annoying when every time I typed "ineffective", I typed "innefective" and have to correct...sure sign that I should be getting to sleep now...

Hmmm...I think I've said my peace about my non-academic life, with all the intrigue and innuendos of the past few days...heheh, maybe I am just seeing things that arent there, just to make my life a little more bearable...whoa, just like I did in high school...whoa, mini-epiphany right here...w-h-o-a....heheh...

Well, here's what went on in my head: in McNair, there was always a girl I had a secret crush on...nothing terribly strong or anything, mostly girls I thought were cute...I'd never think anything would happen, and I wouldn't know what to do if anything did...but then the summer before grade 12 happened, with all the actual strong feelings for once and what not, then I actually started to want more than just secret crushes...so then with my few failed attempts, and my one "success", I moved beyond just having secret crushes...

And now I have reverted back to old habits...that sucks...

Whoa, maybe I reverted much more than just in this respect...like my lack of academic discipline, and my choicings of friendedness, and what not...wow, this really does suck...or does it...

Or maybe I'm just thinking all this because it's 1am and I need sleep...

Hmmm, I concur with that last statement...

Until next time, I guess...

--> As told through the mind of an introverted extrovert.