Merry Freakin' Christmas...

Stupid everything...

It's amazing how backing the car into a freakin telephone pole can crush your christmas spirit...

It's not even that I crashed the car, it's not that bad...it's just the fact that nobody cared enough to ask if I was alright...everyone in the freakin family party was just making fun of me behind my back...do you know how much that hurts?! I'm fucking crying right now...

I don't even know how I backed into the pole...well, it was dark, I had to cross two lanes of traffic backing out of their driveway, and I still had that headache from earlier...it made a dent in the bumper, and it's a little loose, but that's all...but that's not the point...

The point is that it's freaking christmas...everyone's supposed to be loving and caring, especially family...but nooooo...let's all just laugh at stupid justin...har dee freakin' har...

The only one who asked if I was okay was my uncle, and he already left the party...he just phoned me a few minutes ago asking if I was okay...I swear, it seems like the only one who cares sometimes is my uncle...I don't think I can count on anyone else in my family...I thought I could, but not after tonight...

This sucks. It's christmas. Good times and cheer and what not. But not for me...It's strange, but lots of christmas songs sound really depressing right now...I mean musically, they just sound depressing...lots of minors and stuff...even my favourite christmas carol, Do You Hear What I Hear, got me depressed...right when it hit the minors...

But whatever...hopefully I'll start to feel better tomorrow...big christmas music thing for church...maybe my headache will go away too...

Christmas was always such a good time of year for me...I'm starting to think that I've just been fooling myself...I just want to crawl into a gutter and lie in the rain for a day or two...I feel terrible...

I hope everyone else's Christmas is going better than my own...everyone deserves to be happy...

Merry Freakin' Christmas everyone...

Until next time, I guess...


--> As told throught the mind of an introverted extrovert.