WHOA...
On the 480 coming to school, I saw, imo, the MOST ATTRACTIVE girl I've ever seen at UBC... nay, EVER. She was basically the epitome of my idea of beauty.
So, throughout the entire busride to UBC, I was thinking of what I could possibly do in this situation of finding the most attractive girl ever, fully aware that this could quite possibly be the only time I'd ever meet her... so, after much deliberation, I finally decided: I AM GOING TO ASK THIS GIRL OUT. I mean, worst case scenario, she turns me down, and I never see her again, right? So, I visualised myself asking her out, what I would say, how I would say it, etc etc etc...
Before I knew it, we were at UBC. Oh man, not much time left... gotta go talk to her now... OH HEY IT'S CLIVE, AND HE'S STARTING A CONVERSATION WITH ME. How perfect is that... so, I talk w/ Clive, while this girl continues to walk a mere several paces ahead of us, until she enters the SUB, while Clive and I do not... so, I graciously accept my defeat, and that it just wasn't meant to be...
...BUT NO, I COULDN'T JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT!!! So, I tell Clive that I'm going to the SUB for a bit, and he went off to class. So, I go into the SUB, and lo and behold, she's sitting at one of the tables, right there in the SUB! So with my built-up courage, I approach this girl of my dreams...
But then I see my reflection in the window: HOLY CRAP, I LOOK LIKE A TOTAL SCRUB!! Hair dishevelled (in a non-fashionable way), junky clothes, huge backpack... I COULDN'T ASK OUT A GIRL LOOKING LIKE THIS! So I did what any vain guy would do, and head over to the bathroom to do some final grooming checks... you know, make sure my hair's not terribly messy, shirts on alright, last-minute peptalk in front of the mirror, etc etc...
So, I walk back, courage slightly waning even while looking at least half-decent, hoping that she's still there... and, my goodness, she is! IT'S NOT OVER, I STILL HAVE MY CHANCE!!! So, I walk up to her... here's my chance... but then I realize something... I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I mean, holy crap, do I go ask her out directly, or try a conversation first, or what? And, after I do all these things, what then?? Do I give her a sharpie to write down her number on my hand, all highschool-like? Or, pull out my scrubby agenda?!?! HOLY CRAP I'M FREEZING UP!
This sudden fear of not knowing what to do, combined with my srubby appearance, had seemed to zap just about all the courage I had gathered during the busride over here... so, what do I do, but run to David Lam and blog about it all...
Yup, I AM a total loser...
But, I guess it wasn't a total loss; this unfortunate scenario made me realize a few things...
1) DON'T LOOK LIKE A SCRUB. You never know when you need to look nice...
2) I needs me a haircut... enough of this "longer is better" crap, when I know I look way nicer w/ short...
3) GET BUSINESS CARDS. Easiest way to give your contact info...
4) BUY BUSINESS CLOTHES. Okay, maybe not directly affective, but my confidence rises to ridiculous heights while wearing a nice suit, or perhaps a good-looking blazer...
And last, but not least...
5) NEVER HESITATE. I mean, if I just went up to her anyways, would it have been so bad??
How regrettable... how regrettable, indeed...
Until next time, I guess...
posted by bj_nitsuj at 9:45 a.m.
11 Comments:
firstly, I don't know why the first thing that comes to a person's mind, is to "ask a chick out". That's asking for a definite rejection unless you're Brad Pitt and assuming that she's also into Brad Pitt. Now that aside, I guess really you could have just spoken with her and then blogged about that. It would've been cool, but I understand your predicament: you know, the whole scrub and hot girl combination.
This is why I like being able to have random conversations. You don't have to ask her out then and there.... Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.
See, now this was what confused me. I mean, my assumption was that smalltalk would be necessary to start the convo, be tactfully amusing, exchange contact info, become friends, and THEN, after the course of at least a few weeks but more likely a few months, THEN you ask her out... but I've seen/watched/heard about others bypassing this completely. Making me think, much more efficient to just ask straight up... I could get into this, but lets not bring up the past...
But lets clear something up: I didn't say "hot girl", I said most attractive. And most beautiful. TO ME. The so-called "hot girls", DEFINATELY NOT ATTRACTIVE, in the purest sense of that word... meaning, I think the srubby appearance thing I spoke of was more a knock on my confidence from not looking at my best, and not really because I thought she would instantly reject me due to my appearance...
You know what? Let me describe this girl I'm speaking about. Best word to describe her: mousy. Short, not exactly small (but definately not "big"), honestly kinda geeky-looking, RIDICULOUSLY CUTE... basically, my idea of super attractive. In my experience, these are the kinda girls who are modest, i.e., would blush and find it hard to believe anyone would like them. That's just awesome.
Hmmm... ever hear a song called "Stupid Bastard" by Brodie? Google search, find the lyrics, read it. Yeah. Adds another dimension into the abyss that is called my reasoning ability...
Also, just to tack on here at the end... random stranger fan?? COOL...
well, when I said "hot", I didn't mean it in that sense. To me, the most attractive girls are the ones who are hot and cute, and exude sexiness to boot. And also, from anything that I've ever learnt, is that it doesn't matter who bypasses what. The essentials should never be bypassed even if it's possible to do so. How do you both know if there's any chemistry or compatibility. How do you know she's not a nut?; how does she know that you have a small penis?
All these questions can only be answered after spending sometime with her, and only then can a relationship materialize. Otherwise it's nothing meaningful. Totally depends on what you're going for, however.
Gautam, totally agree.
On another note, I saw her again today. On, what a surprise, the same bus I take everyday... but let me tell you, first impressions are MISLEADING... my goodness, it's like her look completely changed... let's just say that she wore hoop earings, and other such fashionable wears... and also, let's just say that I have a thing against hoop earings... Now, I'm assuming that Monday she was either late for the bus, cramming for a midterm, pulled an allnighter, or any combination of the above, and thus had the mousy appearance... oh well...
But, nevermind about her, I am now more curious in this other question: How does one exactly start up a random conversation with, say, somebody on the bus? Male/female/goat, it doesn't matter, just how do you start a convo?? Mark, I assume you're an expert, so spill the beans man...
psh, what would Capote know, lol. I kid, ofcourse. No, but really.
From what I gather, it's not as easy as it may seem for some and not as difficult as presumed by others. It's more in the middle, really. No one wants to start up a conversation with an attractive chick and end up with awkward pauses. Don't get confused with some guys that successfully start up conversations with random girls; those are usually the guys that keep trying over and over again, failing one after another, until they've tried every approach and found one that is successful for them. I don't believe anything is such is necessary or viable for confidence-boosting, but to each his own.
Infact, the chances of you striking up an interesting conversation with a completely random girl right out of the blue are slim to nil. You could, ofcourse, begin with some general humour about some arbitrary instance taking place on the bus/skytrain. I usually find that the best random conversations with girls I have are with someone I've met through a friend, or when I am drunk at some random location--the latter shouldn't be your first choice.
1. She is "the MOST ATTRACTIVE girl" you've seen at UBC, but then you no longer find her attractive because she sports hoop earings? I'm assuming either the former is a gross hyperbole. I mean, it seems kinda fickle otherwise.
2. What's so unattractive about conventional attractiveness?
3. Goats like to talk about eating garbage and municipal politics.
"3. Goats like to talk about eating garbage and municipal politics."
LMAO!
Gautam, nice summation of the q.
And Andrew, 1) You got me. It was a bit of an exaggeration. But I did find her very attractive. 2) That's a story for another time. But, I guess it's pretty much already been stated between the lines in the past 2ish years of my blog. 3) Heheh, good to know...
I had a 1st year Filipino chick start talking to me on the first day b/ she was overwhelmed by mass transit :D
These things don't happen often, I wouldn't worry about it too much.
All the advice given above is pretty solid. The only thing I'd add is to be really receptive/responsive to how the girl is responding. Approaching a stranger is like testing the waters: If it's cold - curt replies, wandering eyes - get out. Give her a break before she thinks you can't take a hint, and you're still in the game the next time you run into her in a better mood. If the reception is generally sunshine and smiles, even if the convo is lame, you're golden. Have faith, and always remember the laws of supply and demand.
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