Saturday, September 24, 2005

Faculty Joke

Haha, got this in a commerce e-mail:

Pickup line of the week
Submitted by: Spenser

To settle once and for all the dispute as to who's the smarter faculty, the UBC Admin hosted a space race between the Engineering and Commerce students to see who could get to Mars first and record some potentially lucrative data regarding the presence of rare metals. However, during a trial run, the Engineers discovered that a standard ballpoint pen didn't function in zero gravity. Secretly teaming up with the Science students, they spent six months and $3 million developing a super-pen that could work in zero-G, under water, upside-down, and in temperatures ranging from -50 to 300 Celsius.

The Commerce team brought a pencil.


Just remembered another commerce-ish joke I heard from my Accounting instructor from both UBC and BCIT:

One day, the CEO of a company had a problem, he wanted to know the answer of 2 + 2. So, he then decided to ask people from every department.

He first asked the Head Engineer. He replied "the answer is 4.000".

He then asked the VP Marketing. She replied "the answer is 4, but for 3.99 it would sell better."

He then asked the Human Resource manager. She replied "well, it's 4, but if we all work together, we could make it 5, 6, or even 7!!"

He then asked the Chief Financial Officer. He replied "well, there's a 20% chance it's 3, a 70% chance it's 4, and a 10% chance it's 5. I say we go for it."

He then asked the Head Accountant. He replied swiftly, saying to the CEO "...come to my office. Now."

They both walked into the office. The Head Accountant quickly locked the door, pulled the curtains, unplugged the phone, turned up the radio, and answered the CEO's question: "so...what would you want it to be?"

--> (an accounting joke, yes, but hilarious nonetheless)


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