Crap, Talk About Last Minute...

Well then, I'm tired as hell, and I seem to not be alleviating myself of this...

I'm camping tomorrow, but I don't know how I'm getting to Hope, don't know what I'll be doing there (besides actual camp meeting stuff), and I don't know what exactly I'll be eating...

I still have to pack, it's nearly midnight, and I've got work tomorrow to boot...crap, I hope I don't have to leave early...

Hopefully I'm feeling better tomorrow, 'cause right now I feel kinda low...heh, I just made a short joke in my head, and now I feel even more blue...man, I don't want this to become another tacoma...

I harsh feel like I'm in the periphery once again, being that I won't be driving up w/ everyone else...the ride up is half the fun, and them not waiting to pick me up / not having room is really bumming me out...plus, I have a feeling that when I get there I'll feel once again on the outside looking in, making me have another lonesome all-nighter wandering the camp at 3 in the morning...

This week went by way too fast...and nobody even went to Hapkido yesterday, which really bummed me out 'cause I was looking forward to hanging out w/ the guys too...however, monday tuesday were quite awesome...

Oh hey, Kris is working at Oceans tomorrow...man, that's gonna be freakin' sweet...

And yet I'm still depressed about the camp prep stuff...or, rather, the distinct lack of prep by me...man, I hate not having a plan...man, I hate being too lazy to make a plan...

I really hate not having enough sleep too...that's, I'm assuming, a major contributor to my depressive mood at the moment...

Oh, and I have no tent to sleep in. Woooo...

Well, I seem to be in a terribly irritable mood, 'cause my mom walked into the comp room to get to our second fridge, and she forgot to close the door on her way out, so I yelled, and my sister retorted, so I screamed back, got pissed off, and punched the computer desk a few times...man, I miss my old strike-averse self...

So, here's the plan for tomorrow:
1) Work
2) Come home, shower, etc
3) Go to Camp Hope somehow

It seems so simple, yet I know it's super complicated...

Ohhh, right right right, I must remember, K112, K112, K112, that's the camp site I'm going to, K112, K112...

If memory serves me correctly, this line is from Iron Chef...

Wow, talk about being random...I really AM out of it...

Man, I really gotta pack...

This sucks, stupid crush...I swear, it's not even a Crush, it's more like a Greater Potential, really...

I like playing guitar...I like Fastball - Out of My Head. That's the song I was trying to remember during pool, which I find WAAAYYY better than The Way, Fastball's so-called "one hit wonder"...actually, it could've been in the 2-hit wonder section of the show, so I don't know...

Stupid having less than 12 hrs sleep in the past 4 days, even if I wanted to sulk about and be imsomniatic tomorrow, I won't be able to 'cause I'd fall into a heap wherever I was walking around...

To tell you guys the truth, I kinda miss being uber depressed...letting everything out is kinda relieving...I like just being able to drop absolutely anything and go off into my own little headspace, wandering away from everyone...

Weird, that reminds me...if anyone's ever seen "A Mighty Wind", that folk-music movie w/ Eugene Levy, my previous wandering depression mode is remarkably similar to Levy's character...

Just remembered I really don't have a ride anymore, I should go ask again now...[5 mins later]...problems solved (somewhat): after some wrangling w/ my mom "there's gonna be jumper cables in a camp with thousands of people!", I am now able to take the car / my dad drive me and my sister (ShayShay) to camp hope...I also realized that tents are unimportant when there are cars to sleep in. Wooo, backseat early 90's civic...uncomfortable, my ass...

Okay, so now alls that worries me is that I'll be missing about 4-6 hrs of time w/ the guys up there...that really pisses the hell outta me...you know, all this talk about me feeling so completely left out, and yet she just assumes that I'll be fine with not being able to go up there...plus, with the whole "it doesn't matter if you're there friday night, we're just setting up anyways" really put a dagger into my spine...sure making it sound like I'm in the periphery...

I'm so in the periphery...with any group of friends I'm in...

Perhaps this is a reason why I'm so clingy in a relationship, 'cause of the whole actually being so close to someone is such a rare occurrence...

Crap, I still smell like fish...I'm gonna freakin' smell like fish at camp...so, stoic wandering it is then...

Wow, now that was random...wow, I can't believe how incredibly random this entire post ended up to be...

I can't believe it's not hydrogenated...

I can't believe I just wrote that...

Now I have a headache...and it's quarter past midnight, and I still haven't packed...my head hurts worse now...

I need sleep...

Gnite (moon!)

Wait, this ain't no msn convo...

Until next time, I guess...