Slightly Hidden

I'm actually typing this at 3am. Gonna see if anyone notices this post that's slightly hiding here. I mean, I could just post in one of my other blogs, but meh.

Overthinking things is annoying. And I'm not talking about any stupid does-she/doesn't-she bullcrap either. I'm talking about the not-wanting-to-sound-like-I'm-saying-something-I-didn't-really-want-to-say-but-sounds-like-I'm-saying-it-anyways kinda thing. If that makes any sense. But yeah. Not wanting to sound like I'm saying something else. Because I'm not wanting to do that. And that makes things kinda weird.

Also, I find it weird that it's hard for me to look at a picture of Avril and myself after all this time. But, what's weirder is that I was MUCH more hung up over the fact that I looked SOOooo different. Sooo much chubbier than I look now (see post below). And, like, I THOUGHT I was all skinny back then too. Making me think I'm really not really as skinny as I think I am right now. But maybe it's a self-esteem thing. You know, having a gf makes the ego kinda skyrocket. If only for a little while.

But that's neither here nor there.

What IS here is that there's a superbowl party tomorrow! WOO! Hangings out w/ friends is going to be a nice change of pace. Haven't really done that in two weeks. No wait, definately longer than that. But anyways, not the point. Point IS, feels like I haven't seen you people in quite some time. I miss.

But moving right along...

I want the summer to be here. But, I kinda don't. ...hmmm, let me explain.

Summertime means co-op job (hopefully), and ultimate, and nights w/o feelings of guilt from lack of studying. And nights where I'm able to go out and do things with people. Or, you know, stay home and play videogames. I guess what I'm really talking about is freedom. Even if it's only artificial.

But, summer also means that 3rd year will be over. And that Alan might be leaving soon. And that Tim will probably do the same. And... shock... I'll be 23. TWENTY THREE. I still feel like I'm just out of highschool. I don't feel 23. I mean, I look on my youtube account, and it says Age: 22, and THAT already kinda weirds me out. Because I so don't feel 22 either.

I don't know why I'm griping about age though. I'm usually not very worried and/or bothered by it. Perhaps it's just the 3:15am ramblings talking. Or maybe it's the 500lbs of food I ingested today at my Grandma's birthday party. She's old. It's most likely going to be her last birthday.

...you have no idea how hard it is to type that. Even at 3am.

I'm still not really over my Grandpa.

*stares at keyboard and screen for 5 minutes*

That's enough of this.